i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have aggressive nipples.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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