I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
