on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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