best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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