i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Are we still banned from the library?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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