Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize