I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
