This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
