I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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