The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
