I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
2020 sucks, I want a refund
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize