So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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