Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
