I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize