i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
