i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
