Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
