hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
