I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
