I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
