We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
