Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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