McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
