He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
