in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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