Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
