im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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