It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
