I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
