my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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