I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
