Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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