Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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