I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
