I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
