it wasn't lemon gatorade
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
