absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
