This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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