It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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