I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
