...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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