You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
