You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
