we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
