he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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