Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
