hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
