I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
