I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
