so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize