So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize