I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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