So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
