i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
