Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize