girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
