I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
