That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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