she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
