Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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