her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize